I really enjoyed Conference this weekend. I'm pretty sure that it's a lot easier to watch it and listen to it when you're a missionary though, because before my mission I could never stay awake or pay attention. I loved almost all the talks that were given and I learned a lot about myself this weekend. It went by so fast I was really disappointed that it ended though! I made sure that I went with a question in mind to conference that I wanted an answer to, and I definitely got it. Conference is really great. I really liked how much they talked about having a strong foundation of hope and happiness in ourselves so that when we are broken and depressed, we can have faith that we can endure it by using the Atonement in our lives and remembering what Christ did for us when He was on the Earth. I had really great experiences listening and I hope you all did too.
I do want to share one really great experience that also this happened this week too. At the beginning of this past week, I was thinking a lot about how successful I was as a missionary. The people I have been teaching are dropping off, and we have had some trouble in our efforts to find more people to teach to. I was really bothered that I wasn't having any success in the fact that nobody I was teaching was progressing towards baptism or anything at all and they weren't keeping their commitments. It really upset me that I didn't know what to do really. I had a lot of thoughts that day that were negative and I really just wanted to give up and not move forward in teaching anyone until I figured out what to do next. Well as I was sitting I knew that I should pray to know what to do. I went into a prayer and expressed my thankfulness for the things that I cherished and had and I specifically asked Heavenly Father how I could be more successful and I also asked if I was even worthy of success in the first place. I felt a lot more comforted as I got back up, and I had a great feeling of just peace. I didn't have any thoughts running through my head anymore and I was just calm and quiet. I laid down on my bed to just sit and relax, and to think a little bit about what I could do next in order to find more people to teach.
As I was getting comfy I felt the urge to just open up my Book of Mormon to where I was reading, and to just read. I kind of brushed it off and thought "I can just read tomorrow during my personal study time" and then not even a minute later my mind just basically switched my train of thought to "No you need to read them right now". I was laying there thinking over and over that I should just get up and read. Well I did. I opened up to where I had left off, which was in Alma Chapter 26. In the chapter it starts off with Ammon, and he is explaining how grateful he was for the blessings God had given him and the result of those blessing was that he saved thousands of people and brought them to believe in the Gospel. He talks about how he was depressed because he was rejected wherever he went, and he was sad that he wasn't having success.
Then he says in verse 27: Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about toaturn back, behold, the Lord bcomforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with cpatience thinedafflictions, and I will give unto you success.
That verse hit me really hard. God comforted them just like he had me and told them that if they just bear their struggles a little longer, they will be given success. They only had the intent of saving a few people but because of their patience and diligence they were blessed to bring thousands, even a whole civilization unto Christ. I saw that I just have to do the same thing. I have to be patient and stay obedient so that when God sees fit, I can be given success. I just have to have faith and trust that I will become a successful missionary, even when I want to give up and go home. I just have to bear a little longer and I know that for a fact that I will be the most successful missionary I have to be. I don't need to worry about it because God is in charge. I know that He will bless me with success if I do what Ammon did and work hard just for a little longer. I'm so thankful for the Spirit and it's promptings to help me in my journey as a missionary. I have been brightened by the simple promptings to pray and read. The Spirit is real and I treasure it more than anything right now, because it is the guide that I have that will lead me when I don't know what to do next.
I hope you all enjoyed conference. I hope you all are happy and having fun doing whatever you all are up to this week. I love you all very much.