I think that this week was a bit rough for me. I've been a little frustrated with finding people to teach and also helping others keep commitments and show that they really want to change. The week didn't start out too well on Monday night. E. Welty and I went to Carl's house to see how he was doing with his drinking and why he didn't come to church on Sunday. He was pretty drunk when we came in, and Dory wasn't happy with him at all. During our lesson we got really serious with him and talked with him and Dory about how he really needs to quit cold turkey in order for his life to improve. Dory said that she would quit smoking entirely if Carl would quit drinking and smoking too. She was very willing to give it up in order to help him. Carl finally agreed that he 100% needs to quit so that he can move on with his life, get married, and being active in church again. He got emotional and asked us to give him and Dory a blessing to help them overcome their addictions. When we were first giving Dory a blessing, Carl got up and grabbed a chair for her to sit in and fell flat on his face with the chair because he couldn't stand up. He also was mumbling to himself during Dory's blessing about how much we wished he had the Priesthood so that he could have given that blessing to her. E. Welty gave Dory's blessing and she felt the Spirit very strongly and I could tell that it helped her out a lot and gave her a lot of comfort.
I then gave Carl a priesthood blessing and I don't think I've ever felt the Spirit so strongly within me while giving a blessing in my entire life. I said things that I didn't even think about saying, and I know that I was speaking by the Spirit as it told me what Carl needed to hear from his Heavenly Father. It was very powerful and it touched Carl too. Well after the blessing we watched a video about Christ and the Atonement. And as it ended I felt very confident in being bold and telling Carl that he needs to give us all of his beer and cigs so that we can throw them away, and so that he can have the strength to quit. He said that he was going to finish the few he had in his house and quit tomorrow and I told him that he wasn't going to quit if he didn't give it all up right now. I told him that he NEEDED to give them up because God would bless him immediately if he did. He still refused. I pointed out that Christ didn't wait to die for us and that He doesn't want Carl to wait to change. All he kept saying was "I'm gonna finish them tonight and quit in the morning". Then E. Welty looked at him and told him that he needs to grow up and quit messing around. We both got really hardcore serious with him and I flat out told him that if he didn't do what was right and stand up for his beliefs in The Church, Christ, and God, that he would be denying the very powerful blessing that I gave him, and that he would be refusing to let the Atonement of Jesus Christ help in overcome his problems. He still wouldn't do it... We tried a little longer to convince him to do the right thing, and then we decided that he won't change unless he does it himself, and so we left.
As we were leaving E. Welty said that he was going to be humbled in one way or another and all Carl did was say "you're not taking my beer away" when we kept offering to take it all away so that he could be sober. He kept telling us he would have some tonight and quit tomorrow and all I could say at that point was "don't do it" and he still wouldn't listen. I don't quite understand how he could deny the blessings and happiness that would come if he would just give it up. I feel so terrible for him and I worry for his happiness more than I ever have before because he absolutely won't change for anyone. He likes his beer too much I guess. It saddens me to see this kind of stuff happen to people and it saddens me even more when they don't even want to give up something that's so pointless.
I know I did everything that I could for him and I'm doing my very best to show my love for Carl even though he doesn't want to save himself. The only thing left I can do is pray for him every day and hope that he will come around one day. We came by later this week and he wasn't in very good shape, and he still didn't quit. We haven't seen him since he went to see the doctor for a breathing problem he is having, and so we will see him soon and go from there.
This week didn't go too well from that day either. E. Welty and I couldn't find anyone to teach at all, and so we didn't teach any lessons. Sherry Smith called this morning and asked us not to visit anymore because she heard things about our church and when I asked what she heard and if we could help resolve her concerns, she hung up. I'm a little frustrated because of there wasn't much success and E. Welty leaves on Thursday to go home and so I'm mostly alone in my area with E. Bowen and Hugh until next Wednesday at transfers. I fasted yesterday to ask for help to find people that want to hear about the gospel and to be thankful for the many blessings I've received these last 3 months. I thought it would be a good idea to fast in thankfulness rather than asking for help this week, and I'm really glad I did. I'm still very happy despite a few frustrations that I have on my plate right now. I still love what I do and I've never been any happier in my life than I am right now. It's just a fact of life that some weeks will be hard on your mission and I'm okay with that. I'm just trying my best and I know that if I wait long enough God will have to bless me haha.
The great thing about this week is that even though there were things that went bad, there were still a lot of things that were awesome! We did service this week for members in the ward almost every day. We did yard work, helped people move, and some other things. I had a blast doing it all and I'm glad that I helped make someone's life easier this week. The ward also had their annual Day of Service at the Cowpens Battlefield! I had so much fun with everyone and it was really awesome to be at that place. I'm so happy here and I'm glad I can find joy in a lot of things when bad things have happened. I'm really faithful that this week will go great and I'm happy for E. Welty and that he finally gets to see his family, and that I get to see my family on Sunday! :)
I hope you all had an amazing week.
Love
Elder Bills